Prepare for swearing, comic references and bad puns. Heavy shit is upon you.
It's the spooky time again. Everyone is getting used to the cold weather. And here - in the UK - we are mentally prepared for 8 months of rain, occasional snow, some black ice and sludge. General happy misery time. And spiced lattes. Gotta have dem lattes (even if I don't often drink coffee). This also means that anxieties are high, hoodies and thick jumpers are making a welcoming come back and chemical peels are back on the menu.
Lack of sun and general vitamin D, not only weakens your immune system, but fucks with your spidey sense. Your anxieties are intensifying and so does your impostor syndrome.
So grab a cuppa, get comfy, let me offer you a nice egg (of wisdom) in these trying times and reduce that feeling of incompetence just a lil' bit.
Everyone gets impostor syndrome
Everyone has it, some people worse than others, some people don't have it anymore (I have a couple of really good friends that don't and they're my heroes but they're keeping their secrets!!), it's normal.
Most of my developer friends have it. There is no need for them to have it, as they're all amazing at what they do. Their work speaks for themselves. Great, talented bastards (yes, you all know who you are and yes I will stare at you intensely).
You're in tech. This is a very fast and hard industry. None of this is easy. Trust me, you're doing great!
We are surrounded by a whole bunch of people who are amazing, pick up things really easily or are fucking exceptional problem solvers. But there are also those, who despite being really good, are not very nice. Talking to those is like climbing Mount Doom, unpleasant. Such is life.
The why
I know I am a hypocrite. The inner Karen Rita Repulsa (My impostor syndrome) will be the first to scream that I'm a bit suss. However, seeing the brilliance in others is easier for me. So for the next how-ever many minutes I'm going to be your mama bear, aggressively rooting for you. In brightest day, in blackest night, no... self-doubt and self-deprecation.. shall escape my sight... green lantern am I not
I’m The Goddamn Batman (not really, but I could be)
There are certain things that you have to accept as part of who you are and move on. Other things you can deal with. It's not easy, but quite rewarding.
It's impossible to know everything. You can learn, and you should never lose that passion for learning, but you will never know all the things. And you have to figure out how to live with that (Petrova, 2021) this was done specifically for John.
Ask questions. Questions are good. Being an effective question asker is a skill in itself. It's better to ask and learn that get stuck in a vicious cycle of "why the fuck can I not figure this out".
Be honest. If you have a decent relationship with your friends, colleagues or part of any community - reach out when your impostor syndrome is bringing you down.
Take a break. Get some vitamin D, go for a walk, make some hot chocolate, eat some cake or something. Sometimes the best thing you can do is not stare at code and take a breather.
Don't compare yourself to others. You are not them, and they are not you. They can do amazing things, but so can you.
The impostor syndrome will come and go. Accept it as part of you. Some days it will pull you to the dark side, some days you'll be dancing around and having so much fun!
It's not all bad, it will act as a drive for you to learn and be humble. And hopefully, see the brilliance in others and with time in yourself.
You are better than you give yourself credit. I know, you will probably disagree, but you are. We tend to judge ourselves too harshly. I'm the same. But I promise you, even I sometimes resolve and accept how decent I am at stuff. After all, it's not just all about the stuff that you know, but the stuff that you want to learn.
Important takeaways
Not the ones you order in... Don't be so harsh on yourself and prepare for a long, and hopefully an enjoyable journey as a developer. There will be tears (ever hunted down a silent error???), there will be happy dances and fucking swearing (in my case a lot of swearing and a lot of dancing). Just try to have fun with it, you know? You got this! I'm rooting for you!
FUCK YOU IMPOSTOR SYNDROME