Trigger warning in advance: mental health, grief etc. Oh and an obscene amount of swearing, but who the fuck am I kidding, you're reading my blog.

What SADs?

It's the season of jolly, happiness and consumerism. It's the time to tell your family and friends how much you love them, hug them close and enjoy the festivities. However, this comes at a price for some of us (about 3 in 100 people according to Bupa's research ) it's also the time for the SADs (I'm not kidding, Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real name.

I'm one of those people. I got... the SADs. I try to be open about said sads and am eternally grateful to people who are patient enough to hear me go through this depressive period (they're the real superstars, and I won't name any names, but you know who you are and I would be lost without you. Love you all).

Why SADs?

Winters in the UK are harsh. They're dark and snowless, they feel like extended rainy meh. They're also stormy, occasionally misty and did I mention rainy? Like rain that doesn't abide the laws of physics kinda rainy. Unless it's just because I'm in a weird Shire. Not the cool Shire with the hobbits, but somewhere in-between. COVID times don't help. There is an extra worry on top of the gloom and doom of the dark months. And we all get ill (colds, infections, flues), our feet go cold and that severely impacts our happiness levels (no? just me?)

There is pressure to spend time with family, and if you don't have anyone that could be horrendous, alienating and lonely as fuck. Especially if you're a student and can't travel back. Basically, everywhere you look you see disappointment. And if you have impostor syndrome, oh boy, that dipshit will make your life hell even if it's been dormant for a bit.

On a personal note, I generally hate December. Used to be one of my favourite months, when I got to have a Christmas party with friends from uni, another with work and actual Christmas. It was fun. And when I see everyone it still is... With just one tiny little wormhole in my heart that misses our dog. We had to put him to sleep two years ago and I'm still not fully ok.

I function, I fun about and I work. I have distractions and things to do, people to talk to, cats to pet. Sometimes the grief just overwhelms. You remember everyone you've lost, getting deeper in the SADs. And if you're in this situation, I am so so sorry. You're not alone and there are always people to chat to

I aggressively believe that you will get through this, even if right now it doesn't feel like it. But you don't have to pretend that the SADs are not kicking you in your stomach every now and again.

Truth, justice and a better tomorrow

Now we got the pleasantries out of the way, let's talk action! There are things you can do to help and ease the brain fire, the meh-ness and worthlessness of this whole feeling thing

Note how I say ease. I can't offer you lies about how you need to do these things and cure yourself of depression, impostor syndrome and general boredom. With a lot of work things are possible but I'm here for quick, lazy tips that work for me, and could distract you a little bit from the doom and gloom of the sads.

Food

Get comfort food, but not like a take out every night until you feel bloated with carbs. But the food that soothes your soul (chocolate, always have chocolate and mince pies if you like those). If you can, find comfort in making something. If you're alone and cooking for one seem a bit excessive - cook one good meal a week. You're worth it. It doesn't have to be complex or fancy, just a nice meal (lasagne, cottage pie, chilli, pasta with peas, loaded chips, sammich). And if you can't, try again next time. You are worth it. Oh also get fruit. If at all possible.

Vitamin D

Get that D! (friends, don't take the bait) If you can get outside during the lighter hours of the day, please do, if not - either include food with vitamin D in your diet or get some supplements. If the sun won't grace us with its rays, we gotta take matters into our own hands. I would also recommend making sure you're deficient in vitamin D if possible. Supplements tend to give a massive dosage of the stuff, just to be safe.

Movement

Find a thing that brings you joy. For me, it's walking around the Shire. Gets me out of the house, gets me to stop staring at the laptop all the time and lets me listen to music and think. And fields. Fields are forever and sads are temporary. Do the thing. If you can do that thing once or twice a week, you're already channelling the sad energy into something proactive. I'm proud of you.

Nostalgia Fest

Rewatch the shows you love. Rewatch stuff that makes you feel happiness, sadness, emotions. Rewatch stuff that has meaning to you. Re-read stuff that uplifts you, give you catharsis. It's ok. We like patterns, we get used to patterns and find comfort in patterns. Watch Ted Lasso. Find that little spark of joy. It will be there, I know it will be. Do it alone or with someone, just find it. Give me a depressing thing about cults during the sads and I'm all there. Although I do watch a lot of wholesome cartoons too.

Talking

Be honest. Learn to recognise and let go of the winter sads. Cry if you need to (might be uncomfortable to cry at work), but let people you work with that you're going through something, if at all possible. If not possible, find people to talk to. Your friends, colleagues, tech twitter nerds. We're all in this together after all. It's one of the most difficult things to do. But it's so important. You won't be alone.

CBT

Get your GP onboard. There are services that offer CBT: Let's talk 2gether for instance helped me. Make a list of things that include at least one of each:

• routine (get out of bed)
• necessary (work)
• entertainment (nostalgia-fest)
• self-care (have a bath)
• movement (walk) And maybe stick to it one day a week, then two... And see how you feel?

Micdrop

I hope this helps. I got nothing.